Some Girls Change The World
There are some people in this world who are blessed with an innate ability to just be who they are with no apologies. Shiloh is one of them. She barrels through her days with a sense of confident purpose that I am just now beginning to learn in my mid-twenties. Most people assume a couple things with this type of personality...insensitivity...brash braveness...dominance. But Shiloh is ironically none of these things.
She is my quiet one. The one who plays happily by herself. The one who needs lots of affirmations of love. The one who snuggles and is so timid that I decided she needed to go to a school of some sort last year to help her come out of her shell. Out of nowhere, though, she'll begin a conversation with a stranger about her butterfly in line at Target. Or she'll decide that her and Keller are going on "an adventure" and she'll grab sticks and head so far through the neighbor's field that I have to call her back because I'm not sure she plans on coming back.
All of my kids are extremist nature lovers, but she tops them all. Always building natural habitats with my kitchen ware for animals she finds throughout the day. In the past week we've had a frog and a butterfly living with us. When the butterfly died I found her and Emma outside collecting rocks and flowers and setting up his funeral on the deck. It was the cutest/saddest thing you ever did see. After that, she went ahead and made an "aquarium" out of my cake pan with rocks for when Daddy says we can have a fish.
Some people hide their feelings and it takes them a lifetime to figure out how to express themselves. Not Shiloh. Happy is really happy with loud, deep laughs. Mad is really mad with temper tantrums and full-on wars. And sad is wailing and cocoons in her favorite green blanket.
Shiloh is determined. She remembers a stuffed animal she picked out in the store and will not ever let me forget about it. Yesterday I laid down with Keller for some quiet time and heard banging in the kitchen...her and Emma had single-handedly opened her birdhouse kit, read the instructions, found the hammer, and glued all the pieces together perfectly. Their finished product had been painted colorful colors and my kitchen floor was a mess, but man. I was so proud.
A girl like that changes the world. A woman who is confident and brave, but manages a sensitive spirit? She is worth her weight in the purest gold. A girl with a creative, innovative, determined mind goes far in life, regardless of her SAT score. They are the ones who don't believe when people say "it can't be done". They are the ones who never quite fit in. They are the ones who view the world as a place of limitless possibility. They are the ones who don't ever give up.
Shiloh, I'm so proud that you are that kind of girl. It hasn't been easy being your mum, for you are so different from me and I've had to learn every single day how to be the kind of mum you need me to be. But I set out a long time ago to understand each of you kids as individuals. I wanted to know you. Not try to fit you into a box I had imagined for you. I so hope and pray you feel that. At five, I hope you know how incredibly blessed I feel to get to be your mum every day and that through grace I meet your needs. Above all, I hope you feel the love of Jesus pouring from my heart and spilling out on you. You are my beautiful treasure.
All my love,
P.S. And please, please keep making those sculptures and peanut butter sandwiches. You have a bright future in that.